The Apple Pie and Madonna Clauses

The Apple Pie and Madonna Clauses

Who knows about brown M & M’s and Van Halen?  I do.  My company used to work with them, and I spent some great times in Vegas with them on business.  Great guys.  Salt of the earth.  David is one cool cucumber. 

The band’s concert rider indeed had a clause saying there could be no brown M&Ms in the backstage area, or the promoter would forfeit the entire show at full price.The bowl of M&Ms was an indicator of whether the concert promoter had actually read the band’s complicated contract.

David Lee Roth – “Van Halen was the first to take 850 par lamp lights — huge lights — around the country.  At the time, it was the biggest production ever.  If I came backstage, having been one of the architects of this lighting and staging design, and I saw brown M&Ms on the catering table, then I guarantee the promoter had not read the contract rider, and we would have to do a serious line check.”

Hence my apple pie clause. 

I used to bury clauses into contracts for the same reason that Van Halen did; to see if the other party was real or if I was wasting my time.  Something like this:

The company has furthered the pro benefits of its operations and will further the goal of creating and ensuring environmental stewardship. Our Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) policy refers to our responsibility toward our environment. Megalodon is part of a bigger system of people, values, other organizations and nature.  Our CSR policy outlines our efforts to give back to the planet as it provides resources.  As part of this goal, the company will ensure that each of it’s employees is able to subscribe to our daily apple pie for lunch program. 

And how about this one?  I call this the Madonna clause because she was the only one who ever called me on it.  I distinctly remember her on the phone asking about this section and why it was in her contract.  Smart person that Madonna.  Very intelligent. 

No representation is made, nor implied, that estimates the fair market value of the Corporation, nor is completion of any financing expressed or implied to be assured.  At the same time, there can be no assurances, nor is there any suggestion, that the Corporation is assured of reaching their stated financial projections.  This Agreement contains forward-looking statements reflecting management’s present expectations.  Everything in this Agreement may be changed by the corporation without notice in favor of the Corporation suspending the investor’s right superseding section 7 of the Agreement.  Inter alia Section 7.6 would not be applicable if the Corporation exercised this right.  Parties are cautioned that all forward-looking statements involve risk and uncertainties, including, without limitation, Corporation’s ability to develop commercially viable products; development delays; changing regulations; the Corporation’s ability to attract and retain business partners; future levels of funding; competition from other companies; and Corporation’s ability to secure the capital required for product development, operations and marketing remains uncertain. Right to Injunctive Relief

I don’t do this now.  Well, every once in awhile I like to add the Apple Pie clause in to see if the contract is being read. 

Make sure you read every sentence of a contract.  Don’t skim over the boring legalese and $500 an hour jargon.